The Hanging Judge

The Cooler: Chapter 13

JJ was finally in the courtroom facing the judge after a long delay. When he walked in, he was immediately taken to the defendant's table and seated next to a public defender with a stack of manila folders in front of him. After asking JJ his name, he spent a few minutes searching through the stack until he finally found JJ’s file.

“Howard for indecent exposure,” the judge's law clerk announced.

“No sir, I’m JJ,” JJ responded.

“You’re not Howard?” the clerk asked.

“No, I am not,” JJ said.

“Please state your full name for the court,” the judge said.

“John James Presley,” JJ said.

The assistant went back to his pile of folders and started digging. It took him a moment, and then he finally found it.

“Here it is, judge. It is a park service complaint,” the clerk said as he handed the folder to the judge.

The judge took it and then spent a moment to read it.

“Vagrancy and illegal camping. Does the state really feel both charges are warranted?” The judge asked the assistant district attorney. “That seems a little excessive.”

“No, sir, the state is amenable to a reduction to just vagrancy,” the attorney said.

“Fine. How does the defendant plead to vagrancy,” the judge asked.

“Uhm, what should I say,” JJ asked the defender.

“Guilty, your honor,” the public defender said, ignoring JJ.

“That will be 20 hours of community service,” the judge said

“Wow, 20 hours. Isn’t there a fine I can pay?” JJ asked.

“Do you have one thousand dollars on you right now?” The judge asked, looking up, piercing JJ with a cold stare that made JJ feel like his life was a failure

“No, Judge,” JJ responded, looking down in shame.

“Take the community service, that’s a bargain,” the public defender said. “That should be 200 hours of community service.”

“Thank you, sir. I will take the community service,” JJ said.

“See the court clerk on your way out after the bailiff releases you,” the judge said, handing the file to his clerk.

JJ turned around to see the bailiff standing at the swinging gate from the gallery.

“Mr Presley, follow me, and I will process you out,” the bailiff said, holding the swinging gate for JJ.

It didn’t take long for the paperwork to be produced and for JJ to sign it, agreeing to show up Monday at 6 am at the county parks office.

“What do you think I’ll be doing,” JJ asked the bailiff or the clerk who was dealing with the paperwork.

“You’re lucky that you aren’t helping with animal control. The inmates that have to work with them have to shovel up roadkill. In the Vegas heat, they cook out there. By the time they get to them, they smell really bad,” the clerk said.

“Oh yeah, you had to do some community service with them because of that cock fighting incident,” the bailiff said.

“It wasn’t a cock fight. It was a bar-b-que that I had invited some friends over, and one of them thought it would be funny to put two roosters together,” the clerk protested.

“Is that what the lawyer told you to say? I saw the pictures,” the bailiff said.

“Watch it, or I’ll tell everyone about your betting pool,” the clerk said. “Here you go, Mr Presley; you are free to go.” The clerk said, handing a copy of the judge's orders to JJ.

“What about my stuff?” JJ asked.

“Oh, right, one second, I will go get the envelope,” The bailiff said, and then went over to a file cabinet,

“Here you go, and I will need you to sign for it here,” the bailiff said, handing JJ a large manila envelope along with a clipboard with a pen dangling below it.

JJ took the envelope and the clipboard and juggled the two so he could sign.

“Thank you,” JJ said to the bailiff, handing back the clipboard. “So Monday at 6 am?”

“Yes, it's all here, the clerk said and handed JJ a sheet of paper with all the pertinent information.

“Thank you. Do I need to do anything else, or am I free to go?” JJ asked.

“You are free,” the bailiff said.

“Ok, thank you,” JJ said and turned to leave. “Oh, how do I get a cab?” JJ said, turning back to the two.

“There should be one waiting out front; there are a few regulars who hang out here during their lunch break. They like to come in and watch the entertainment. In fact, that guy in the last row of the gallery eating the sub sandwich is a driver.” The bailiff said.

“Ok,” JJ said, turning and seeing the guy.

JJ walked over to the driver, who was just shoving the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth.

“The bailiff said you are a cab driver,” JJ said.

“I’m on my lunch,” the driver said, wiping a dribble of oil off his chin with his sleeve.

“Can I get a ride after your lunch?” JJ asked.

“Yes, now quiet,” the driver said, returning his attention to the judge.

JJ sat to wait for the driver’s lunch break to end.

The bailiff had left the courtroom to retrieve another defendant from the holding area. After a few minutes, he brought in a slim young man who looked like he should be waiting on waves, not in jailhouse orange waiting to find out how bad the news was.

“Is this Howard?” The Judge asked.

“Yes, Your Majesty, my last name is Howard,” the surfer guy said.

“Your honor, he’s not a king,” the public defender said to Howard.

“What?” Howard said.

“You refer to the judge as your honor,” the bailiff said, reinforcing the public defender's statement.

“Oh, ok, yes, your honor, I’m Howard,” he said.

“Alright, let's see what the state is saying you did,” the judge said, taking the file folder from his law clerk.

“Hmm, public nudity and public intoxication,” the Judge said to himself. “Why is this in my courtroom?” The judge addressed the assistant district attorney.

“Well, judge, the defendant is wanting to plead not guilty,” the ADA said.

“Were you nude, and were you under the influence?” The judge asked Howard.

“Yes sir, I — “ Howard started to say.

“Your honor,” the public defender interrupted Howard.

“Yes, your honor, I was naked, but someone drugged me,” Howard said.

“Ok, since you are pleading guilty, one month in a drug interdiction —“ the judge started to say.

“I’m not guilty,” Howard protested.

“Counselor Johnson, please talk to your client, and let's get this cleared up. I would like to get moving today,” the judge said.

“Yes, your honor, we will take just a moment,” the public defender said.

The public defender grabbed Howard, and they huddled together.

“Your honor, the defendant would like to put in a plea of no contest and would like to accept the offer of drug interdiction,” the public defender said.

“Ah, man, I wanted to hear what happened. Well, my lunch is over; I’m ready to go,” the driver said, then started to pick up his lunch mess.

“Uh sir, I mean judge, I mean your honor, can I explain?” Howard asked.

“Your honor, his statement is in no way a change in plea or a statement of guilt,” the public defender said.

The ADA just shook his head. “I’m not sure why I’m here when the judge is doing my job and his,” the ADA said a little too loud.

“ADA Miller, do you have something to say?” The judge asked.

“No, your honor,” the ADA said.

“I thought so.” The judge said to the ADA. “Yes, Mr. Howard, you can talk, and counselor, the court will not rescind or modify the judgment,” the judge said.

“Thank you, your honor. Like I said, I was naked,” Howard started.

“Oh, maybe this might be worth staying for,” the driver said, then sat back down.

“The day I was arrested, the last thing I was aware of was stopping a really skinny guy that was probably a meth head. He said some crazy things, really gibberish, and then the next thing I remember was lying on the ground handcuffed; oh yeah, I was naked. I don’t know how iI ended up naked when I stopped the meth head I was in my security guard uniform.”

“Mr Howard, when you say he was talking gibberish, do you mean he was crazy and talking to himself?” The judge asked.

“No, sir, he seemed to be talking to me in some strange language,” Howard said.

“And that was when the drugs you took started working?” The ADA asked, trying to redeem himself.’

“No sir, I haven’t taken any drugs since ’87. Besides, I never took anything besides pakalolo; I would never touch anything that made me hallucinate,” Howard said, responding to the ADA.

“Based on the statement by the defendant, the state would request a sentence of 120 days,” the ADA said.

“I have already made my judgment; your objection is noted,” the judge said, dismissing the ADA.

“Mr. Howard, thank you for telling us the story, but I am afraid that's all it seems to be, just a story; I am sentencing you to a drug interdiction program. You will be required to report to a facility on Monday. The clerk will give you a list of available facilities,” the judge handed the law clerk the folder. “Alright, who’s next.”

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” the driver said, standing up. “Where are you headed?”

“Hmm, what time is it?” JJ said, looking around for a clock. “Wow, 4:30 am. I think I’ll head back to my apartment so I can get some sleep.”

“Where is that?” The driver said.

“On Sierra Vista Drive, just up from … what’s that street with the quickie-mart?” JJ thought to himself. “Oh yeah, Cambridge Street.”

“Is that over near Desert Inn and Maryland Parkway?” The driver asked.

“Uhmm,” JJ thought for a moment, realizing that he really hadn’t gone anywhere except the strip. “Yeah, I guess. I haven’t been anywhere except the strip since I moved here.”

“Oh, so you’re new in town,” the driver said.

“Yeah, I moved here about a month ago,” JJ said.

“Did you used to vacation here and decide to move here? That’s what brought me here about ten years ago. I thought that I would like the constant action that only lasted a month or so, and then I realized that I had ruined a vacation spot,“ the driver said. “Well, I’ll get you to your apartment quickly. My cab is parked on the street just a half block away.”

The driver set a quick enough pace that JJ was having a hard time keeping up.

“Hey, you know what? I had a sudden craving for the legendary Vegas steak and eggs,” JJ said as they stepped out of the courtroom.

“Do you know where you want to go? How about the Gold Coast?” The driver suggested.

“Hmm, no, I think I want to go to the Horseshoe,” JJ said.

“Good choice, but I think they only have ham steak and eggs, not the traditional t-bone steak and eggs,” the driver said.

“Yeah, for some reason, I have this sudden urge to get the special there,” JJ said.

“Ok, well. That’s good; it will only take us about ten minutes to get over there,” the driver said. The cab was a little closer than he had said. The driver got in the front, and JJ sat down in the back on the passenger's side.

“It will be just a few minutes. I have to do my log book and radio in before we leave,” the driver said.

JJ looked around at the mostly empty streets while the driver worked on his tasks.

“I wonder what's going on with Kawika,” JJ said to himself.

“What? What did you say?” The driver asked, looking up from his log book.

“I was just talking to myself,” JJ said.

“Ok, I’m almost done, just need to radio in,” the driver said and then picked up a radio microphone and talked to a dispatcher for a moment.

“Alright, we're all ready to go,” the driver said as he pulled down the flag on his meter.

JJ watched the early morning empty streets go by as they headed toward their destination. It was only the ten minutes that the driver said when they pulled up to the horseshoe.

“Alright, here you go. Enjoy your breakfast,” the driver said as he accepted JJ's payment.

“Thank you, sir,” JJ said, stepping out of the cab and looking at the giant light display above the entrance. It almost looked like a giant pina colada glass or a giant red tulip-type flower with horseshoes stair-stepping up the front.

“Wow! That's quite a giant display of lights,” JJ said when he finally closed his mouth. “Hmm, maybe I’m getting a little loopy from lack of sleep.” JJ shook his head and walked into the casino. It was mostly empty, with just a few people at tables and slot machines. JJ looked around and then finally saw the cafe. It was situated so that the diners could still see and hear the action on the casino floor.

JJ walked up to the cafe entrance, where there was a hostess reading a newspaper.

“Are there seats at the counter?” JJ asked, interrupting the woman’s reading.

“Yep,” she said, snapping her gum, not looking up.

“Thank you,” JJ said and then walked in. He found the counter easily. There was only one person sitting with a coffee in front of him and his head on the counter.

JJ sat down and grabbed a menu that was standing in a chrome condiment caddy. On the front was their signature dish of ham steak, and eggs on the front. He had already decided that was what he wanted, so he put the menu back and waited on the waitress.

“Did anyone hear from Arnie?” JJ heard a voice say from the table behind him. There was a giant of a man sitting with his back to JJ, surrounded by a couple of women and another much smaller guy.

“No, but I stopped by his shop yesterday afternoon, and it was closed,” another voice at the table said.

“What will you have,” the waitress said, interrupting JJ's eavesdropping.

“Oh, sorry, I was —” JJ started to say.

“Being nosy? The crazies come out at night. That group comes in quite a bit and sits there drinking coffee and nothing else. They are just lucky that business is so slow this time of day,” the waitress said.

“Crazies?” JJ questioned.

“Yeah, they all think they are wizards and sorceresses,” the waitress said.

“Hmm, that’s interesting,” JJ responded.

“So, did you decide yet?” The waitress asked, trying to get JJ back on track.

“Oh yeah, I’ll have the ham steak, and eggs,” JJ said.

“Would you like something to drink?” She asked.

“Yeah, coffee, you don’t happen to have Kona coffee, do you?” JJ asked.

“No just Farmers Brothers. It’s not as good as Kona coffee, but it's pretty good,” she said.

“Ok, then I’ll have that,” JJ said.

“Can we get some more coffee over at our table,” the biggest guy from the table had come over to talk to the waitress directly.

“I’ll bring over a pot,” the waitress said a little curtly.

“Nice tats,” the guy said to JJ. JJ had reached out to grab his flatware from a stack of napkin-wrapped place settings, and his shirt sleeve had pulled back, exposing his tattooed arm.

“Thanks, I just got it,” JJ said.

“Where did you get the band? I’ve been thinking of getting a tribal band like that.” The guy asked. “I’m Raul, by the way, but everyone calls me Guardian.”

“That’s quite a title, Guardian,” JJ said, ignoring the question.

“Yeah, it's sort of from when we used to play role-playing games. So who was the artist?” Raul asked again.

“It was done by a friend who doesn’t do tattoos for anyone generally,” JJ said. “My name is JJ, by the way,” he said, sticking out his hand to shake.

“Nice to meet you,” Raul said. He hesitated for a moment and then said, “Would you like to join us?”

“Uhmm,” JJ thought for a moment.

“No pressure, you just looked like you could use some company,” Raul said.

“Yeah, I’ll join you guys in a moment; I just need to tell the waitress,” JJ said.

Raul sat back down at the table.

“Maam,” JJ said, trying to get the waitress's attention.

“What can I do for you,” the waitress said, stepping back to the counter.

“Can you send my plate over to the table? Actually, can you change my order for the ham steak and eggs for everyone there,” JJ said.

“Yeah, I can do that,” she said. She turned to change the ticket, stopped, and said, “If you’re sure,”

“Yes, I’m sure,” JJ said.

The waitress just shook her head and then went to change the ticket on the spinner.

“Everyone, this is JJ,” Raul said as JJ stepped up to the table.

“Hi everyone,” JJ said, giving a small wave, and then pulled up a chair to squeeze in between Raul and one of the women.

“That’s an interesting shirt. Are you a bail bondsman?” The shorter guy asked.

“No, the guard gave it to me when an inmate threw up on me,” JJ said.

“Oh, ok,” the guy said.

“Did I hear you guys talking about a guy named Arnie?” JJ asked.

“Yes, he is really the leader of this little group,” Raul said.

“Coven,” one of the women said, interrupting Raul.

“No, Rachel, not coven, we are not witches, we are just magic practitioners,” Raul said to her.

“Don’t start that argument again,” the short guy said.

“He owns the Crystal Palace and knows a lot about magic; I’m Mary, by the way, since Guardian’s manners are lacking,” Mary said.

“That's interesting. Arnie had told me that there was a group of magic practitioners that met occasionally. I’m glad I finally met you guys,” JJ said.

“Oh, so you’re a practitioner too,” the short guy said.

“Arnie just started to teach me. He taught me magic vision a few days ago. What was your name?” JJ said.

“You can call me Big D,” D said.

Rachel and Mary both started to laugh. “His name is Dan,” Rachel finally said after she got her laughter under control.

“We don’t know who he is; why did you tell him my name? You know names have power …” Dan said

“Oh, get over yourself,” Rachel said, interrupting Dan’s rant.

Dan stopped with a harumph and folded his arms in anger.

“Just ignore him, he takes himself too seriously” Rachel said.

“So do you guys just argue all night,” JJ asked.

“No, usually Arnie will have something for us to practice. He’s been teaching us magic.” Raul said.

“Really, do you guys know a lot?” JJ asked.

“Not really, Guardian is the only one that can do anything. Show him Guardian,” Mary said.

“It's not really much,” Raul said.

“Well show me,” JJ said.

“Okay, just a moment,” Raul said. Then he closed his eyes and started to breathe, concentrating on his breaths. “Scintillam volant,” he said, holding his hand out. A static shock went between his first and second fingers.

“Ignis,” JJ said.

“What?” Raul asked.

“What?” JJ asked.

“You said, Iggy,” Dan said.

“No, he said ignis,” Rachel said.

“What I didn’t say that,” JJ said.

“Yes, you did. Why did you say that?” Rachel asked.

“Hmm, I don’t know why,” JJ said

Raul started breathing again and then said, “Scintillam Volant Ignis." This time, the spark was big enough to catch his napkin on fire.

Mary threw her glass of water to put out the fire. “Well, that was interesting,” she said.

“That was impressive,” JJ said.

“That never happened before,” Dan said.

Raul stood there with his mouth hanging open. “Uhm, wow, " he said. How did you know that?”

“I don’t know what you're talking about?” JJ said.

“You said Ignis after Guardian said the spell, and then after he said the added word, it was actually something,” Rachel said.

“Wow,” Guardian said again.

“Smoking is allowed here, but please don’t start fires,” the waitress said, interrupting the discussion, carrying four plates of ham steak, and eggs. She had three plates lined up on one arm and one plate in her other hand.

“Sorry about that. I dropped a match, and it just happened to land on my napkin,” JJ lied.

“Hmm, don’t let it happen again,” she said to JJ, her expression suggesting she knew he was lying.

“I ordered some food for all of us since you guys were so kind as to invite me over,” JJ said to the table.

Everyone said, “Thank you,” and they started enjoying their food, not waiting for the waitress to bring over the final plate for JJ.

“Here you go,” the waitress said as she dropped the final plate in front of JJ along with a check. “You can pay at the hostess station,” she said and then went back to the counter and flirting with the cook.

The whole table was silent while they enjoyed the unexpected food, but they kept sneaking glances at JJ.